a mother's love.

500th post! :) & i shall dedicate this post to my mum! 

i guess not many of you know that im from a single parent family. my parents divorced in 2008 & my mum took up the responsibility of bringing up 3 children on her own since then. life hasnt been easy. we sold our flat & moved in to live with my grandmother. i have no idea how much she earn a month but nevertheless, she still gave my grnadmother monthly allowance of about $1000+. apart from that, she paid for everything at home. from the new year reunion dinner food to daily necessities at home. i have 2 uncles who are living with us as well but they have never paid for anything. i felt that it was so unfair to my mum & grandmother. srsly. feeling like just scolding them & asking them to fuck off. i have encountered so many things that i wish i could have stood up for my mum & grandmother, just living here for the past 3 years. but, there was nothing i could do, for im just the third youngest child in this house. 

i admit. i havent been this sensible all this while. i guess i have matured alot the past 2 years. i learned that life is never fair & there is nothing we can do. i used to be quite a rebellious girl at home because i used to think that my mum favoured my sis & bro more than me. as a result, i was disrespectful to her at times & stuffs like this. coming to think of it now, i really feel so bad about it. 

i have graduated from secondary school & im moving on to poly. last year, my mum paid for my sis's laptop & poly education & she said my dad will be the one paying for mine. so, i told him about it last week & guess what he said. he actually say he will only pay for it if (1)the monthly allowance of $100 to my mum to provide for us to be waived. (2)year end, hes supposed to give $600 to my mum to buy our new year clothes & school books. now he asked to be reduced to $400. (3)my bro to stay over at his house every saturday. truthfully, im ashamed to have a father like this. $100, you expect us to fucking live on $100 every month? its not even enough & now you say you dont want to give alr? $600, our school books cost way more than that & that is inclusive of new year clothing. just my brother alone, his new year clothing cost about $200+ alr. you think its enough for the 3 of us? & most importantly. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DIDNT WANT US ANYMORE. you left us for that bitch & now you say you want my brother to go & live with you on staurdays with that bitch? dream on. be glad that we actually go out with you on alternate sundays. we wouldnt even go if this werent a court order. yknow what? if there ever come a day that that bitch doesnt want you anymore, dont come looking for us. we wont provide for you. mummy is our top priority. you dont matter to us. we wont give you any money. that will be your retribution for giving up a happy family that you used to have for a bitch & her daughter. go ahead & provide for them especially that bitch's daughter, & dont pay for your own daughter's education. karma will get you. i hate you. 

now, my mum said that she will buy me a laptop & pay for my poly education as well. can you imagine the burden on her? she doesnt say anything but i can see that shes very stress. 

mummy, thank you for everything that you have done for us for the past 3 years when you had to bring us up all by yourself. it has been tough on you. i know you wont read this but i just want the world to know that i have such a wonderful mother like you. im sorry that i didnt know how to apprecitae your love in the past but i promise i will do everything that i can to help you in future. the reason why im looking for a job now is because i want to be able to give my mum some money every month, so that at least it will ease her burden. a little. i hope. 

what they say is true. a mother's love for her children is the most greatest love of all time. <3<3