too hurt.

im a strong girl who keeps her stuffs in line. even when i have tears streaming down my face, i always manage to say : im fine. 

this is what happened too many times. too much that im starting to feel sick. i feel like im about to explode anytime. im like two different person at home & at school. im pretty okay in school but as the night starts to set in, my mood starts to change as well. i start to think about negative things & dampen up my day when it could have been better. /: i deserve it huh? 

its time for a change. :)

on a side note, i guess many of you should know about the horrifying ferrari accident? its really scary. you should go watch the footage if you havent. i cant imagine being there witnessing it or involved in the accident *touchwood* seriously. 

i know the driver has paased away alr, but i cant help but say this. isnt it really very overboard? just because of one's recklessness, two others have to die with him. wtf? whats going to happen to that taxi driver's family? whats going to happen that japanese girl's family? they have passed on & thats a fact thatcant be changed. however, they are innocent. they werent the ones that drink & drive but they had to pay for the consequences too. 

how could the family of the ferrari driver still scold netizens about reprimanding the ferrari driver when its clearly his fault? many died because of him. so irresponsible & nonsensical seriously. they lost their family but what about the other two deceased? their family lost them as well. spare a thought for them as well, please. 

& i found it really heartbreaking that the taxi driver was initially brain dead at the hospital, but still fighting for his life. he passed on only when his wife told him that this accident is not his fault. he then closed his eyes with a teardrop falling from his eyes. :'( can you imagine how heartbreaking this scene is? sigh.

i know im kinda overreacting over this issue but i understand how it feels like to lose a loved one. that feeling totally sucks. 

to all deceased, rest in peace. its all over already. 

just a piece of advice for you, my friend. who's the one still holding on? who's the one that said he stopped loving? you dont know how he feel. there are just too many things that you dont know. stop assuming alright? if you really care, have you ever thought about how he would feel if he read that post? he has never stopped loving you. up to now, he still loves you. since you dont know how to appreciate what you had, just let him go. whats the point of posting past videos on FB, writing all these hurtful things on your tumblr? trying to bring back memories or trying to hurt him? stop it will you? its not that he stopped loving you, you are the one who doesnt have eyes to see his love for you. seriously, i think he deserve a better girl than you. just let it go. theres no point holding on alr. to you, if you love someone, that someone need not be the first in your heart. but thats the thing that most people will ask for in a relationship isnt it? is that too much to ask for? i dont think that is, comparing how much he did for you. 

its time for some reflection. im telling you this because i still treat you as my friend. read it or not, i dont care. i have said what i want to say alr. 

too much ranting huh? /: okay byebye.