a story left untold.

went for chalet at NSRCC on monday for a kinda like short gathering with secondary school friends? LOL. well, it was quite fun! just that i came back with a sore throat & fever. -.- felt terrible. anyway, thank you baby for going all the way to east coast to help me buy strepsils. i love you. <3<3

anyway, theres this stray cat that live at my void deck & he got injured because he was apparently bitten by another cat. :( its like ouch so pain & hes like lying there half-dead. so me, my sister & my uncle bought him to a 24hour vet to check if he is fine. because he is under medication, we are now keeping him at home & i guess hes not used to staying in a confined space, he keeps meow-ing all day long like he is asking us to let him out. seriously, driving all of us crazy! but well, no choice! he is under medication! hahaha & hes really cute though. ^^ 

OKAY BYE. 

whats gone, can never come back again.

my beloved grandfather passed away peacefully on 20 february 2012. 

it was so painful seeing him lying on the bed, not moving, not breathing, not saying anything. we stayed up the whole night without sleeping to read buddha(sp?) scriptures to him, to ensure he can go on a safe & smooth journey. it really work wonders. after about an hour or two, sitting in his room with him, i saw a smile on his face. it was so heartwarming. :) at least i know he went in peace. <3

we had his funeral held for 5 days under our block & many people came to give their last respects. it was crowded every night & im sure he is very satisfied. 

he led a wonderful life. when he was young, he went to many countries & even invested money & went over to help construct a temple in china. everytime my grandmother tells us stories about his past, she is always smiling. he may have a mistress outside but my grandmother, although pissed off, still continued to take care of him & put up with his nasty temper for the last years of his life. that is everlasting love. no matter how irritating he was when he kept whining about things, he is still her husband, my grandfather. now, recalling my childhood, i can always see a part of him there. always giving us money to buy sweets & how he used to disturb us when he come back every night. but as he get on in years, his health deteoriate   further & he is not that happy anymore. he is a very stubborn man & no one could tolerate him, except my grandmother. they quarrelled alot recently & there was never peace in the house. but now that he is gone, how i wish i could hear him whine & call us again.

after 12 midnight today, is the 7th day he is gone & he will be back for the last time to have his last meal cooked by my grandmother &see all of us for the last time & will not be coming back anymore. i really miss him alot. i cried alot of the past few days & i still cant let go of the truth that he is gone forever. i guess, i can only let time heal all my wounds. 

its true when people say we only learn to cherish when we no longer have that thing/person with us anymore.

ah gong, have a safe journey back today & have a good meal. i will miss you dearly. please take good care of yourself. im devastated that youre gone but at least its a relief for you & ahma. rest in peace. <3

once in a lifetime love.

thank you baby for taking silly pictures with me! <3<3 i love you!

well well, this is what i do at home when im bored. HAHAHA dont mind me. 

sooo, i have got 2 jobs offer. one office job at LTA, the other one IT fair. i feel like doing both butttttttt, i can only choose one. :((((( boohoo. well, lets see how it goes! 

OKAY BYE.

my valentine,

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU, BABY! <3

this is the second year that we are spending valentine's day together! heh same valentine for 2 years. \m/ happy girl. im blessed with such a boyfriend like you. i thank you for your love for this past 1 year, 2 months & 23 days. i dont deny that there were no quarrels, heartbreaks or anything else. whats a relationship without those anyway? im the cause of most of the problems. im sorry baby. i didnt mean to hurt you. without your love & understanding, we couldnt have make it this far. i dont ever want to take you for granted. i dont ever want to remember how it was like before you or how it would be without you. i dont ever want to forget our first kiss or our last touch, or let a day go by without telling you how much you mean to me & how deeply im in love with you & how much i need you. i dont ever want you to doubt the way i feel or how much happier i am because of you. baby, love is cute when its new but love is beautiful when it lasts. <3 

i know, this valentine's day is worse than last year. you cant go out & i know i have no one else to blame but myself. if not for my willfulness, all these wouldnt have happened. im sorry for everything that happened. it has been hard on you, darling. i know, you dont want to ask for permission to go out is because youre afraid that many things will happen. i know you are scared that she might do something to hurt me again. baby, i feel the same way too. im always worried if she will do something to hurt you. you say you would rather let me hate you than let her hurt me. you know i will never never hate you. i will always understand why you do what you are doing. if i can choose, i rather let her do whatever she want to me, in exchange for your freedom. because youre worth it. <3 remember, i'll brave the storm with you, no matter how heavy the rain is. your family is incorrigible, & im really upset by how they treat you. we have been through so much, this is peanuts. :) i swear, i would still want to be your girl in my next life. <3<3

well, promise we would go out & have a post-valentine celebration real soon okay? ;) i wanna watch the vow. <3 although we had a extraordinary celebration this morning! heh i really enjoyed myself! 

my boy, gave me 9  kinder joy with 5 handmade foam roses just now! <3<3 heehee looks like im still a kid in your eyes uh? then you will have to spend more time doting on this kid! :p remember what you said! 1 rose, everyday. looking forward to it! & a gift from you, taste exceptionally delicious! heh.

once again, happy valentine's day to you baby! im looking forward to many more valentine's day with you! i hope you like your present! <3<3 please always smile, because you look nicer when you smile & most importantly, i will always be your reason to smile. 

my dear, if i had to choose between breathing & loving you, i would use my last breath to tell you 'i love you'. <3<3

a mother's love.

500th post! :) & i shall dedicate this post to my mum! 

i guess not many of you know that im from a single parent family. my parents divorced in 2008 & my mum took up the responsibility of bringing up 3 children on her own since then. life hasnt been easy. we sold our flat & moved in to live with my grandmother. i have no idea how much she earn a month but nevertheless, she still gave my grnadmother monthly allowance of about $1000+. apart from that, she paid for everything at home. from the new year reunion dinner food to daily necessities at home. i have 2 uncles who are living with us as well but they have never paid for anything. i felt that it was so unfair to my mum & grandmother. srsly. feeling like just scolding them & asking them to fuck off. i have encountered so many things that i wish i could have stood up for my mum & grandmother, just living here for the past 3 years. but, there was nothing i could do, for im just the third youngest child in this house. 

i admit. i havent been this sensible all this while. i guess i have matured alot the past 2 years. i learned that life is never fair & there is nothing we can do. i used to be quite a rebellious girl at home because i used to think that my mum favoured my sis & bro more than me. as a result, i was disrespectful to her at times & stuffs like this. coming to think of it now, i really feel so bad about it. 

i have graduated from secondary school & im moving on to poly. last year, my mum paid for my sis's laptop & poly education & she said my dad will be the one paying for mine. so, i told him about it last week & guess what he said. he actually say he will only pay for it if (1)the monthly allowance of $100 to my mum to provide for us to be waived. (2)year end, hes supposed to give $600 to my mum to buy our new year clothes & school books. now he asked to be reduced to $400. (3)my bro to stay over at his house every saturday. truthfully, im ashamed to have a father like this. $100, you expect us to fucking live on $100 every month? its not even enough & now you say you dont want to give alr? $600, our school books cost way more than that & that is inclusive of new year clothing. just my brother alone, his new year clothing cost about $200+ alr. you think its enough for the 3 of us? & most importantly. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DIDNT WANT US ANYMORE. you left us for that bitch & now you say you want my brother to go & live with you on staurdays with that bitch? dream on. be glad that we actually go out with you on alternate sundays. we wouldnt even go if this werent a court order. yknow what? if there ever come a day that that bitch doesnt want you anymore, dont come looking for us. we wont provide for you. mummy is our top priority. you dont matter to us. we wont give you any money. that will be your retribution for giving up a happy family that you used to have for a bitch & her daughter. go ahead & provide for them especially that bitch's daughter, & dont pay for your own daughter's education. karma will get you. i hate you. 

now, my mum said that she will buy me a laptop & pay for my poly education as well. can you imagine the burden on her? she doesnt say anything but i can see that shes very stress. 

mummy, thank you for everything that you have done for us for the past 3 years when you had to bring us up all by yourself. it has been tough on you. i know you wont read this but i just want the world to know that i have such a wonderful mother like you. im sorry that i didnt know how to apprecitae your love in the past but i promise i will do everything that i can to help you in future. the reason why im looking for a job now is because i want to be able to give my mum some money every month, so that at least it will ease her burden. a little. i hope. 

what they say is true. a mother's love for her children is the most greatest love of all time. <3<3

a thousand years.

HELLO. 

soooo, JAE 2012 posting results are out. & im posted to NYP, chemical & pharmaceutical technology. well, thats pretty good. but i appealed to NYP, hospitality & tourism management. :) hope my appeal will be successful! 

i guess we are heading towards different paths from now on. jerome is going to NP, christine to SP/NP. :( boohoo. but glad to hear that there are still some close friends heading to NYP! 

life has been really boring these days. i guess holidays that are too long arent very good to some extend too? /: 

helping my mum to make spring rolls for the gathering at her friend's house tmr! & i accidentally injured myself. so painnnnnnn. 

i was really pissed at how she treat you ytd. its just rainwater that wet the floor & she actually have to kick up a big fuss about it? wtf. she can just clean it up& let the matter go. why blow it up? srsly. -.- the way shes teaching her kids is so wrong. dont think she realize it. aiya, i know im not in position to say anything. just try not to quarrel with her okay baby? :) you know i will always be there no matter what happens. i love you.

OKAY BYE.